Vegan Cheese, Why Buy It?

Four years ago when I was a raw vegan I discovered an addictive condiment with very few ingredients. It was Parma. A raw, vegan parmesan cheese substitute. Very expensive, at about $7.99 per container, I looked at the ingredients and decided to make my own. So simple, so much more cost effective. The ingredients are Paleo-friendly and I make the original version, not the spicier variety. 

"Parmesan" "Cheese"

-3 oz raw organic Walnuts

-1 1/2-2 TBSP  nutritional, or brewers yeast flakes ( the Parma uses Red Star)

-ground pepper

-Celtic sea salt

In a food processor combine all ingredients and chop/grind until it looks like this.


I'm going to try to make this with black walnuts and see how it turns out.

Game Meat Spaghetti

One of the things I dearly miss since being on a healthier diet is my mama's spaghetti. Yeah I'm a Jew, yet I miss an Italian dish. My mama's spaghetti is by far the best spaghetti on the planet. It is so fucking delicious, it is orgasmic.

Well the moment I turned Paleo-esque I asked my mama for her recipe and she gave me the rundown. Super simple, I doctored it, made it way more fibrous. Swapped out some ingredients. Instead of canned tomato paste that contains citric acid and comes in a BPA-laden can, I use Bionaturae tomato paste that comes in a glass jar, the only ingredient tomatoes. Instead of using beef, I use bison, elk, ostrich, venison goat, or pasture-raised veal. Any ruminant meat will do. I would never use turkey or poultry of any kind. Of course grass-fed beef is great too.

I batch cook veggies for the week, so of course I include some of these as well. This recipe makes one small serving

Game Meat Spaghetti

-1.5oz pastured game ruminant meat of your choice

-60g cooked finely chopped veggies (I use bell peppers, rapini a.k.a. broccoli rabe, broccoli, zucchini, red onion, whole garlic cloves, portabella mushrooms, celery, artichoke hearts)

-35g tomato paste ( a big tablespoon)

-fresh basil

-garlic powder

-water as needed

Basically I stick all the ingredients in a small pot, turn onto low heat, add enough water to make it just the right consistency and stir until soft, but not so brown that the meat is over- cooked.

I serve this over shirataki yam noodles and eat it with my own butternut squash muffin, a package of roasted Nori seaweed, additional veggies (like curry roasted cauliflower), and perhaps some of my own vegan "cheese" or these kale chips crumbled on top.

Just so you know, I started eating shirataki noodles ten years ago, before anyone other than Asians were eating them. So all of those companies that think that they discovered something and now are overcharging people up the whazoo, think again. You can buy them here or here for cheap. 

Recipe for vegan cheese is here

This Is How Latkes Should Be

I sometimes really miss Jewish food. There are times when I yearn for my grandma's potato latkes, but alas I will not eat white potatoes or the canola oil I'm sure she uses to cook them in. So in the spirit of Chanukah, I chose to make my own, in a better way. And they are gluten free, where as most latkes use regular flour, bleh.

Sweet Potato Jicama Chestnut Latkes

-90g purple sweet potatos, grated with a cheese grater

-50g graded Jicama (Yambean)

-1TBSP coconut flour

-1 tsp artichoke flour (can substitute with whatever you like)

-2 roasted chestnuts chopped

-1 jumbo egg, beaten

In a medium bowl soak the shredded ingredients for 10 minutes. Drain the water and then mix in the jumbo egg, flour, and chopped chestnuts. Mix thoroughly and then heat some coconut oil in a pan. Drop some of the mixture in the pan to form a small patty and cook until browned on both sides and no longer wet in the middle. 

I'm kvetching for these latkes. 

I will say that artichoke flour is a great gluten free flour, it is incredibly expensive and hard to find. I found it at an Italian store in the suburbs of Chicago. It also is tricky because it has to be combined with other flours when baking. 

I don't do apple sauce, but I like to dip them in a parboiled egg, with the yolk being raw. Yummy and maybe some homemade catsup/ketchup.

I Had a Dream About A Purple Sweet Potato

I am obsessed with Okinawa Purple Sweet Potatoes and I have been ever since I discovered them two years ago. All of their starchy goodness makes me have oralgasms (orgasms of the salivary glands). If I could I would be buried with cooked purple sweet potatoes in a bath tub and eat my out. Not only are they visually exquisite, but so much sweeter than any other potato.

I use the these potatoes for everything, I make muffins, I make popsicles, and I eat them as they are. Here are some of my favorite recipes I have come up with using purple sweet potatoes. I actually have never made hash browns or french fries or mashed potatoes out of them because that to me is boring.

Purple Sweet Potato Protein Muffins

-40 g cooked purple sweet potatoes, mashed

-3 TBSP coconut milk

-1 whole egg ( I use jumbos, they are more satisfying)

-7g/1 TBSP coconut flour

-5 g protein powder (I use Lifetime's Basics with Greens)

-1/4 tsp non-aluminum baking powder

optional: vanilla or maple extract

Makes 3 small muffins. Preheat oven to 375 F. Mix all ingredients in a bowl and then pour into a muffin pan that is lined with muffin cups. Bake until slightly brown.

Purple Sweet Potato Protein FuckMe-sicles

-30 g cooked purple sweet potato, mashed

-1/3 c coconut milk

-10 g Lifetime's Basics Plant Protein With Greens

-10 g Chocolate egg white Protein

-1 tsp cocoa powder

Mix all ingredients and put into freezer pop molds. Freeze for at least 24 hours. I like to drop things in right before putting the stick in, such as dark chocolate, or these or this. So yummy. Sometimes I even put in my own "pumpkin pie" filling muffins

Purple Sweet Potato Bagels

-40g purple sweet potato, mashed

-28g coconut flour

-3g guar gum

-1 egg white

-1/2 tsp non-aluminum baking powder

Makes 2 small bagels. Preheat oven to 400 F and bring some water to a boil in a pot. Mix all ingredients, add water as needed to make a dough. Separate into two even portions, roll into balls, flatten and poke a hole in the center. Boil for 35 sec per side in water and then place on a greased baking sheet and slide into the oven. Bake until slightly browned.

Per bagel: 99 calories, 4.7g protein, 15.3g carbs, 2.1g fat, 6.6 g fiber, 2.7g sugar