Turkey Necks

For some reason I felt like eating the meat out of turkey necks, which look disgusting. When I used to buy the roasted chickens from Whole Foods, before I decided it was a bad idea. Side note, it is a bad idea because they are sitting in plastic containers under heat lamps for hours on end and I would binge on them and suck everything off the carcass in one sitting. Anyhow my favorite part of the chicken was always the neck and the tail. They were always the most crispy and delish, so I decided to buy straight up turkey necks. 

I roasted the turkey necks with sage and thyme and some sea salt, but the meat wasn't as great as I would have liked. It was tough to get off the bone, so I through them in a crock pot, with a stock I had frozen from a bison crock pot meal and I cooked them with some chicken. That was truly amazing and the stock from that meal was the best poultry broth I have ever eaten.

This Is How Latkes Should Be

I sometimes really miss Jewish food. There are times when I yearn for my grandma's potato latkes, but alas I will not eat white potatoes or the canola oil I'm sure she uses to cook them in. So in the spirit of Chanukah, I chose to make my own, in a better way. And they are gluten free, where as most latkes use regular flour, bleh.

Sweet Potato Jicama Chestnut Latkes

-90g purple sweet potatos, grated with a cheese grater

-50g graded Jicama (Yambean)

-1TBSP coconut flour

-1 tsp artichoke flour (can substitute with whatever you like)

-2 roasted chestnuts chopped

-1 jumbo egg, beaten

In a medium bowl soak the shredded ingredients for 10 minutes. Drain the water and then mix in the jumbo egg, flour, and chopped chestnuts. Mix thoroughly and then heat some coconut oil in a pan. Drop some of the mixture in the pan to form a small patty and cook until browned on both sides and no longer wet in the middle. 

I'm kvetching for these latkes. 

I will say that artichoke flour is a great gluten free flour, it is incredibly expensive and hard to find. I found it at an Italian store in the suburbs of Chicago. It also is tricky because it has to be combined with other flours when baking. 

I don't do apple sauce, but I like to dip them in a parboiled egg, with the yolk being raw. Yummy and maybe some homemade catsup/ketchup.

The Only Meal I Will Ever Eat On a Tuesday Morning

 

This is by far the most amazing, ORGASTRONOMIC meal I have ever eaten for breakfast. I eat this every Tuesday. I would probably eat this every day of my life, for every meal, but then it would not be as special. I look forward to this. FYI I have "Last Supper" place mats bought at a dollar store in the suburbs six years ago.

I'm not a strictly Paleo or Primal person, but I am strictly gluten free and I don't do crappy substitutes. Truth be told I have not eaten McDonald's in over ten years, I have not eaten pizza in four years and I have not eaten yeast containing products in over three years. I have been eating this way long before it was a trend. I do realize that Paleo/Primal eating is a lifestyle, but for some people just like any other dietary modification it is a trend. I miss pizza, the concept of pizza is genius because it allows the devourer to layer flavors. There is the yeasty crust, with the sweetness of the tomato sauce and the bitterness of the vegetables. There are various textures at play as well and this is what I miss the most. The layers. 

I set out to bring back the layers into my life in the form of a breakfast dish that in my opinion is unparalleled. Now for the purpose of my recipe I use an egg white instead of a whole egg because I eat a whole egg with the meal as well as a bunch of other things. 

Things you need:

-food processor

-Baking Sheet lined with parchment paper

-medium size bowl

-some knives

-Measuring spoons, or a kitchen scale

Paleo Breakfast Veggie "Pizza" Crust

-85 g raw cauliflower, four big florets

-20g raw beet, one thick slice

-1/2 a yam flour cake (optional, can be bought at any Asian supermarket)

-7g/1TBSP coconut flour

-Water (as much as needed)

-1 jumbo egg white

-olive tapenade (optional)

-1 pinch Celtic Sea Salt

-1/4 tsp garlic powder

-1 tsp curry powder (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 F. In a food processor combine raw cauliflower, raw beet, 1/2 yam cake and chop/shred to fine pieces. Transfer to a medium size mixing bowl and mix in the remaining ingredients, and add water as necessary to make it into a spreadable mixture. Bake until crust hardens a bit and browns. Put on whatever toppings you like and slide back into the oven until the toppings are crispy and brown.

What I put on mine:

 -tomato paste, black bean dip, hummus (I know not Paleo, but tastes amazing), arugula, radichhio,  basil, garlic cloves, shitake, chanterelle, oyster, and portabella mushroom slices. Cherry tomatoes, bell peppers, artichoke hearts, rapini, red onions, and some small pieces of grilled octopus

This is what I eat it with:

-1/2 of one of my butternut squash muffins

-1 jumbo par boiled egg (the yolk is fully raw)

-1/2 cup coconut milk (watered down)

-1 tsp coconut butter

-1 TBSP of leftover spaghetti meat sauce from the day before

-small slice avocado

-15 g purple sweet potato

-1 sheet of nori seaweed

-1/4 serving of these kale chips, the best on earth

-1/2 slice bacon

-piece of curry roasted cauliflower (from Whole Foods salad bar)

This is how I eat it:

I take the sheet of nori seaweed and lay it out flat. I crack open my egg and break off some of the "pizza" and dip it into the warm, liquid egg yolk. I only eat organic cage free, pastured, jumbo eggs, because they are more satisfying. I break off a huge piece of the "pizza" and put it in the center of the nori seaweed. I layer on the leftover spaghetti, avocado, sweet potato, coconut butter, bacon, curry cauliflower and butternut squash muffin. I pour the yolk over that and scoop on some of the white to layer on top and then I drizzle on the kale chips. 

 

 

I roll it up in the nori and chow down. 

That is how to properly eat this and achieve maximum layering of flavors.

I Had a Dream About A Purple Sweet Potato

I am obsessed with Okinawa Purple Sweet Potatoes and I have been ever since I discovered them two years ago. All of their starchy goodness makes me have oralgasms (orgasms of the salivary glands). If I could I would be buried with cooked purple sweet potatoes in a bath tub and eat my out. Not only are they visually exquisite, but so much sweeter than any other potato.

I use the these potatoes for everything, I make muffins, I make popsicles, and I eat them as they are. Here are some of my favorite recipes I have come up with using purple sweet potatoes. I actually have never made hash browns or french fries or mashed potatoes out of them because that to me is boring.

Purple Sweet Potato Protein Muffins

-40 g cooked purple sweet potatoes, mashed

-3 TBSP coconut milk

-1 whole egg ( I use jumbos, they are more satisfying)

-7g/1 TBSP coconut flour

-5 g protein powder (I use Lifetime's Basics with Greens)

-1/4 tsp non-aluminum baking powder

optional: vanilla or maple extract

Makes 3 small muffins. Preheat oven to 375 F. Mix all ingredients in a bowl and then pour into a muffin pan that is lined with muffin cups. Bake until slightly brown.

Purple Sweet Potato Protein FuckMe-sicles

-30 g cooked purple sweet potato, mashed

-1/3 c coconut milk

-10 g Lifetime's Basics Plant Protein With Greens

-10 g Chocolate egg white Protein

-1 tsp cocoa powder

Mix all ingredients and put into freezer pop molds. Freeze for at least 24 hours. I like to drop things in right before putting the stick in, such as dark chocolate, or these or this. So yummy. Sometimes I even put in my own "pumpkin pie" filling muffins

Purple Sweet Potato Bagels

-40g purple sweet potato, mashed

-28g coconut flour

-3g guar gum

-1 egg white

-1/2 tsp non-aluminum baking powder

Makes 2 small bagels. Preheat oven to 400 F and bring some water to a boil in a pot. Mix all ingredients, add water as needed to make a dough. Separate into two even portions, roll into balls, flatten and poke a hole in the center. Boil for 35 sec per side in water and then place on a greased baking sheet and slide into the oven. Bake until slightly browned.

Per bagel: 99 calories, 4.7g protein, 15.3g carbs, 2.1g fat, 6.6 g fiber, 2.7g sugar

The Fruitarian Diet-The Grossest Diet Ever, My Story of Messed Up Eating

Three years ago I embarked on a raw vegan diet. There is something so appealing about raw veganism to me. I don’t know what it is, but it represents cleanliness. Several years back I met a boy and I liked this boy, well I was devastated when he didn’t like me back. And thinking back to this situation I was an immature idiot. Why would anyone be devastated over anyone else unless it happened to be the love of your life. I was young, impressionable and this sent me into a diet tailspin. Before this time I was a pescetarian, albeit a very unhealthy one. I ate Boca burgers multiple times a day, every meal had soy and I’m sure it was GMO, as there is no non-GMO in my opinion. I also was a Splenda addict to the point that if I wanted a sweet taste I would eat packets of Splenda by themselves. Splenda is chlorinated sugar, so essentially I was eating sweetened chlorine, awesome. Anyhow I was so upset that I started compulsively eating peanut butter. Every week I would buy one jar of PB and Company cinnamon raisin peanut butter, Better n’Peanut Butter, and chocolate soy nut butter. I consumed per week just in nut butters, 523 grams of fat per week which comes to 74.4 grams of fat per day, which equals excessive weight gain. The worst part is my mother, my best friend, did not tell me I was getting chunky and looking bloated. I was eating other food at the time and among that was the Sweet n’ Salty trail mix from Trader Joe’s, which I would mix in a food processor with peanut brittle and Edy’s Ice Cream.

Six months later, 35 guys later, I decided I needed a change. I was hating my body, so I decided on raw veganism. That diet was boring. Not to mention I got food poisoning once a month. I even threw up while I was on a date and it was always from bad sprouts. I made the grossest food and I would binge on it because I was always hungry. I made “spaghetti,” consisting of ground sundried tomatoes over alfalfa sprouts. Then one magical day I discovered the Larabar. How I loved the sweet taste, the Cashew Cookie was my favorite. I like the sweetness and that is when my fruitarian diet began. I decided that if I were going to continue with this dumb ass diet I might as well enjoy what I’m eating. For five months I ate all melon, one week was honeydew, the next was watermelon, followed by cantaloupe and then papaya. My shit turned red and I piled on more weight in muffin top form. In an effort to lose weight I got colonics once a month, but the moment I got upset about another guy I would stand in my kitchen and binge on watermelon. I gained so much weight, I was turning into a melon, the very food, I was eating. You are what you eat! I got so sick of some of this food I would sometimes cheat and buy farm raised tilapia from the Jewel and fry them in a pan with Smucker Grape Jam. I drank gallons of carrot juice and would mix them in my food processor with cashew butter and agave nectar. Little did I know I was probably pushing myself into a pre-diabetic state.

I decided to revisit my moderate pescetarian diet and eliminate all soy. I started losing some weight, but my calories were too low. It wasn’t until I became severely overtrained after severe calorie restriction and overexercising that I changed to the way I eat now. I upped my calories, started incorporating lean meats in the form of poultry, bison, elk, venison and grass fed beef. I also discovered weight training and since then the only running I do is sprinting, the only piece of fitness equipment I use for working out is the treadmilll (for walking and sprinting) and most of the time I use a jump rope for my cardio or run stairs. I would say the Fruitarian diet taught me that being super restrictive is not a good choice for having a happy existence. The entire time I ate that way I felt guilty for all of the binges and then I also was constantly inflamed from the sugar and tired from blood sugar swings. I am positive the Fruitarian diet led to my overtraining syndrome due to horrible mineral deficiencies. I also didn’t lose weight from it either, but rather gained weight.

To this day it is extremely difficult for me to eat a piece of fruit. The only fruit I will eat is citrus, berries or an apple, maybe a piece of a banana. This diet ruined melon for me forever, I can’t even be in the same room as a papaya.

Paleo/Primal Jew, I'm Kvetching, What to Do? Paleo/Primal Challah/Bagels

So listen up, I am pretty much Paleo/ Primal. There is one vice that is holding me back, which I won’t go into detail about right now. I am extremely active and so I freely enjoy eating Okinawa purple sweet potatoes and pumpkin. One thing I miss being a gluten free, primal Jew is all the food. I sometimes long for the days when I freely enjoyed Challah bread with honey, along with Matzoh at Passover and so forth. I have hypothyroidism and I avoid gluten because of this, my under active thyroid is the main reason why I turned to the paleo/primal diet in the first place. I also don’t think grains are essential, but when I want a bagel with lox or some matzoh ball soup, grains start looking a lot more essential.

Naturally I had to come up with an alternative. A way to have my bagel and eat it too. A way to have some challah. Most of the baked goods I make are visually unappealing. They look like something you would build a house out of (aka a brick), not something edible by any means, but they still taste good. I often look at traditional Jewish recipes and try and find a different way and a better way. Below are my recipes for Challah style bagels and Everything Bagels, which are perfect substitutes. The Challah style bagel is pretty much Paleo friendly, but the Everything Bagels do contain Millet and Garbanzo bean flour. I live alone so all of my recipes yield 2-3 servings at the most.

As far as categorizing myself as Paleo or Primal, I really don't care much for doing that either. I think there a lot of people out there that feel their way of eating is the only way and is the most right way and I disagree. I feel that putting grains in my body is like putting poison in my body, but I will never expect anyone to feel the same way. Everything in life is about balance and I too am beginning to learn that. 

Mock Challah (In Bagel Form), makes two small bagels

-1 jumbo egg

-31g (1/4c)  coconut flour

-1 tsp guar gum

-1 tsp chia seeds

-1 1/2 packets stevia

-1 tsp sesame and poppy seeds

-3 TBSP coconut milk

-2 TBSP apple cider vinegar

-1/2 tsp non aluminum baking powder

-water (as needed)

-Coconut oil spray

-Foil

Preheat oven to 400 F and boil a large pot of water with salt. Line a baking sheet with tin foil and spray with coconut oil cooking spray. In a bowl mix all dry ingredients. In a separate bowl combine the egg and coconut milk. Combine with the dry ingredients, add the apple cider vinegar and water as needed. If the mixture is too dry add more water. The consistency should be doughy. Spray your hands with the coconut oil cooking spray and separate the dough into two even balls. Roll the dough into balls, put them on the pan and insert finger to make a hole. Drop the bagels into the boiling water, boiling for 15-30 sec per side. Put them back on the pan, sprinkle each bagel with sesame and poppy seeds. Bake until hard on the outside and slightly browned.

Sun dried Tomato Everything Bagels

-1 TBSP coconut flour

-35g millet flour

-2 TBSP garbanzo bean flour

-1 TBSP artichoke flour (optional)

-1 tsp guar gum

-3 TBSP coconut milk

-1 tsp golden flaxseed meal

-1 jumbo egg white

-1 packet stevia

-1tsp each sesame, poppy seeds, caraway seeds

-1 tsp each garlic and onion powder

-2 pcs sun dried tomatoes, sliced into small pcs

-1/2 ounce artichoke hearts (optional)

-2 roasted garlic cloves, diced

-Water, as needed

Same exact directions as the Mock Challah, except mix in the caraway seeds and leave the sesame and poppy seeds for the end

Orgastronomica

Orgastronomica=Organic+Gastronomy

My Meal, A Color Wheel

Orgastronomica is about the devotion to eating. The obsession that is food, there is no unhealthy obsession regarding food. I believe that all senses should be overloaded with each bite and every ingredient needs to be as close to nature as possible. I work in the health food industry so I am surrounded by food all day, almost everyday. I get to try a lot of different kinds of food at various trade shows, so why not write about food.

 
I am a person that eats pistachio butter with still bleeding bison flank steak, curry roasted cauliflower with chocolate covered brazil nuts and punjab eggplant with pumpkin pie. I need to eat a rainbow, not in the form of skittles at every meal, every day. And since I eat six times a day, that is a lot of color and a lot of roughage. Why be bland when you can be vibrant and extraordinary!